Mum of missing Philip Cairns never let despair have the final word, funeral hears

A massive crowd turned out to pay their respects on Saturday to Alice Cairns whose 13-year-old son disappeared as walked to school from his home in Rathfarnham, Dublin in October 1986.

Her son Eoin told mourners at Ballyroan Parish Church in Rathfarnham that his mother had a heavy cross to bear in life following Philip’s disappearance but he never heard her complain and her deep faith and support of her friends and the wider community gave her the strength to carry on.

Alice, whose was predeceased by her husband Phil, died peacefully surrounded by family on Tuesday.

Fr Michael Murtagh said her son’s disappearance stayed Alice’s heart every day,

“The not knowing, the waiting, the praying, these were weights no parent should ever have to bear and yet Alice carried it with astonishing grace.

“Her grief, her pain did not make her bitter. Indeed, it widened her compassion for others.

News in 90 Seconds – Saturday, November 15

“She knew sorrow intimately and because of that she was able to sit with the sorrow of others in a way that few could. Alice never pretended that her heart was not broken but she never let despair have the final word. She trusted quietly that god held her son Philip, held her sorrow and held her life. That same god now holds her.”

Fr Murtagh said she is now reunited her husband and her son.

“The burdens Alice carried are now lifted. The questions that haunted her are met at last by divine compassion.”

Philip disappeared as he walked from his home in Ballyroan Rathfarnham, Dublin to go back to school after lunch on the afternoon of October 23 in 1986.

His schoolbag was later found discarded in a laneway in the area.

Notorious paedophile Eamon Cooke was quizzed by gardai in relation to the disappearance and the former DJ admitted knowing Philip but did not admit to being involved in his disappearance.

Alice’s son Eoin said the last time the family were in the church was just a few weeks ago for a remembrance mass for Philip which he said meant so much to her.

He told how his mother came from a family of 10 in Kilkenny and looked back on her childhood with fondness and happy memories.

After marrying her husband Phil they moved to Ballyroan around 50 years ago and she settled into life in the area.

“Fate was to intervene with the disappearance of he beloved son Philip and her life was to change forever. “

Eoin told how his mother’s faith had begun to deepen a few years before Philip went missing.

Philip Cairns (13) who went missing in October 1986

“It was almost as if God, knowing what was in store for her, was preparing her for the trial that was to come.”

He said Philip’s disappearance was a heavy cross for her to bear but he never once heard her complain. “God never gives a cross to those who cannot bear it.”

He said his mother accepted it with grace and dignity.

“Support from friends neighbour and the whole parish made her cross that bit lighter for her to carry.

“So many people looked after he and her family she never forgot it.

“The kindness she received from friends and strangers always kept her going.

He said that Alice wanted life to return to normal for the rest of the family after Philip’s disappearance and said eventually the routine of family life returned.

“She retained her curious sense of humour.”

He remembered how when her brother came to visit she dressed up as a scarecrow for his arrival and started walking towards him and when an aunt came to visit Alice convinced her sister to dress up and pretend to be a nun.

Eoin told how his mother loved a sing song and had deep faith.

“Of all she has done for me and family I will miss her good humour the most.”

A Garda on duty at the laneway on Ballyroan Road, Rathfarnham from where 13 year old schoolboy Philip Cairns went missing on the afternoon of 23 October 1986 whilst walking back to school which is at the top of Ballyroan Road. On the ground is his schoolba

He said he’d always remember the times when she’d have a glint in her eyes and say: “I will tell you a funny story.”

He said she’d rarely get to the punchline because she’d start laughing so much while telling her funny stories.

Eoin said his mother’s faith was the core of her life and she had inner peace and happiness. “Her Mission in life was to pray for others and share quiet joy she felt.”

She was heavily involved in the church and causes and had so much time for those who struggled, who were vulnerable and less fortunate in life.

“In later years took step back to care for Phil before his passing. The last few years were ones of happy contentment.”

He said she was blessed with good health and was active and had cherished memories of her 90th birthday party which was organised by a large circle of friends. She was still making plans in the last few days of her life and was going to be the guest of honour at her granddaughter’s birthday party in Brighton.

“On the morning of her passing she became ill and it seemed to me then she knew he life was ebbing away.”

The priest was called and gave her last rites and absolution.

“She smiled and nodded her head and had Look of happiness I had seen before

“Soon after with family beside her, she breathed her last breath, she died a happy death

In time please god she’ll receive her happy rewards and be reunited with Phil and Philip.”

Fr Murtagh told the congregation that Alice was a soft-spoken woman with depth of strength who was such a steady presence in her community and the church in Ballyroan.

“Alice was the giver, we were the takers.

“The generosity she offered was a natural as breathing.

“In a world that can at times be harsh and violent, she was a place of calm.

“Truly, Alice was one in a million.

He said in the church and community she was the one who quietly did the tasks that needed doing,

“She was the one who helped without being asked, the one who noticed when someone was struggling and she offered compassion.”

Dermot Browne of the Missing in Ireland Support Service told how Alice was a regular at family support meetings and her presence brought so much to others.

“Her faith great inner strength and acceptance was a great inspiration to myself and others.”

Alice said in an interview in 2016 that she had always held out hope that Philip was alive and would come back one day but she had come to accept in the year or two previously after her husband died that he would not be coming home.

Gardai quizzed Eamon Cooke before his death in 2016 after a woman came forward to say that around the time of Philip’s disappearance Cooke brought him to Radio Dublin in Inchicore and said she saw Cooke hit him with an implement and that he may have killed him.

The witness, who was nine-years-old at the time and terrified of Cooke, said she fainted and when she came through she was in Cooke’s car and there was no sign of Philip.

Due to her fear of Cooke she only came forward when she realised he was dying.

Gardai were unable to forensically link Cooke to the disappearance and he died of cancer in 2016.